Sexism in Hacker Culture (Or: The Day I Discovered I was a Man)
DISCLAIMER: This was written a very long time ago. My feelings have changed, but I think it’s important we don’t just scrub away the things where we might have been coming from a different place in our journey, to acknowledge where we came from.
I will say that I have come to understand the importance of representation in the industry in creating a culture where young women feel welcomed. I also understand that representation can be a negative thing, when there’s so many blanket accusations being made about all men in the industry that it causes men to exclude women altogether rather than risk being cancelled over an innocent misstep. But mostly, I think that if I personally strive to exemplify the former, that will ultimately result in seeing less of the latter in my personal sphere of influence.
So, I will leave you with my hot take below, knowing that the internet is forever. For all the young women who may be coming up in my footsteps, I hope that you see this in the spirit of accountability and growth. All we can do is try to do a little better every day.
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Last summer, while presenting at GeekGirlCon on a “Secrets of the Female Hacker and Maker” panel, I had a question asked of me.
“How do you deal with the misogyny of the Information Security Field?”
Wow. What a loaded question! It’s one that I rolled over and over in my mind, especially in light of the attention that has been paid to the topic lately. With women alleging “Defcon is hell for women”, I think perhaps I have been in the wrong industry and attending the *other* giant hacker con in Vegas for the last decade and a half or so. I wondered how it is that I and so many other women can be so comfortable in an environment that others find irreparably hostile.
One of the things that drew me in to the hacker community (and, eventually, the infosec profession), was how easy it was to be accepted on nothing but your technical skills. People who I had initially met on BBS and IRC had no idea what I looked like or what bits were between my legs. When we finally met in person, the fact that I’d just developed an early Gig-E over copper NIC was far more intriguing a conversational topic than what I was wearing or who I was sleeping with. If you could throw down and hold your own (through skill and education), you were welcome. If you couldn’t, you were harassed mercilessly and deterred from returning.
Around the same time, a number of women who weren’t involved with the con for educational pursuits started showing up. I saw the term “scenewhore” thrown around, and threw it around myself. I had a hatred for these women for making us all look bad by trying to gain recognition by getting naked instead of sharing knowledge. I was outspoken against these women on forums, when they came around with nothing to offer but fashion advice and demanded respect and knowledge be handed to them just because they were female. I almost gave up when the “HaXXXor girls” made their appearance, until my community surprised me and laughed them right off the con floor (while chasing them down to get their bootleg DVD copies signed, of course).
There continue to be the typical signs of the “boys club” mentality. Underground parties continue to hire strippers. The big corporate sponsors continue to use booth babes and go-go dancers to hawk their wares. Are these things conducive to fostering a safe and welcoming environment for women? Probably not. Does it make these misguided men any less welcoming of a well-qualified woman in their ranks? The experiences of a number of prominent women in this community seem to say “no”.
So, to answer the question that was posed of me, I’d say, “I don’t.” I don’t deal with the misogyny. This requires some social interactions that have been called “manly” and “aggressive”, such as grabbing an errant hand and firmly informing its owner that his actions are unwelcome. It has required exchanging business cards while a half naked girl wriggles and writhes a few feet away. It has not, however, resulted in less respect or a lower paycheck than that of my peers.
Changing the “boys club” into a mixed-gender playground will take some time and these attitudes towards what is acceptable for down-time entertainment are slowly changing. One thing that will never change – if you have something to offer this community, you will be welcomed into it.
I have frequently declined participating in women’s panels or forums within this community because it is the antithesis of why I joined it in the first place. I don’t want to be recognized as one of the top female names in my industry. I want to be one of the top names in my industry, period. This is one of the few communities where I feel that is a genuinely achievable goal.
The women I view as mentors are the ones who are doing great things in the top roles of this field, rather than those who have made their name by calling attention to the differences that are supposed to be holding us back.
Road to CISO 
“I don’t want to be recognized as one of the top female names in my industry. I want to be one of the top names in my industry, period.” <– THIS. HOLY CRAP, THIS.
Thanks for this. I always shudder a little when a new "chicks in tech" article surfaces, and I too have wondered if I've been attending a difference conference when I hear about the hostility at Defcon.
Unfortunately, many of the ideas espoused in this article are actually quite damaging. It shouldn’t be necessary to essentially behave like a man in order to gain recognition in your field. That just perpetuates the problem – that men define your worth either as “one of them” or as a potential sexual conquest. The fact that you feel comfortable isn’t the defining factor of these environments – it’s the fact that so many other women feel uncomfortable. Doesn’t that tell you something? It shouldn’t be women who have to change in order to feel comfortable around men.
Denying that sexism occurs, either in hacker culture or in any cultural environment, for that matter, enables perpetuation of negative behavior. De-legitimising other womens’ experiences of misogyny enables the silencing of women and their discrimination and experiences of sexism in your industry to continue.
I think you’re missing my point. The point isn’t that sexism doesn’t exist. The point is that the mentality of “beat them with sticks until they comply” isn’t likely to garner success in this community. The point is that saying “Defcon is hell on women” de-legitimizes the experiences of hundreds of women who have been successful in fitting in to the environment without any modifications to their personalities or conceding to allow unacceptable behavior towards themselves.
I hear a lot of broad statements these days made about “women in hacking” as to how oppressed we are and how it is abhorrant that none of us have stood up against this sort of behavior. Those statements are de-legitimizing the experiences of hundreds of women over the last couple decades. To say that “women in hacking” allow this sort of activity to continue de-legitimizes the hundreds of us who have had extremely positive experiences within the community.
Why is it that these women who have had negative experiences feel qualified to make sweeping statements about us as a community – statements which do not, in fact, represent the realities that we have experienced on a daily basis over the years? How is the de-legitimization of the experiences of the vast majority of women in this community any less offensive?
(As a side note, the “behaving like a man” remarks were tongue-in cheek responses to comments exactly like this one. I don’t believe now, nor will I ever, that being blunt or aggressive are “manly” traits. I think it’s a little absurd to place gender on these traits – not to mention insulting to the men who don’t bear them and the women who do.)
While sexism does exist, it’s best not to perpetuate it with static definitions of ‘what a gender acts like’. Defining aggression, efficiency, or an authoritative tone as ‘male’, is a form of self hate. I have never been subtle, passive, or yielding in my business communication and until recently I saw that as pretty ‘mannish’. Then i spent sometime looking at paintings of Valkyries, and hanging around actual women who want things done yesterday and I realized what I was doing was actually ‘self advocating’, it’s a skill I have in spades and perhaps other ladies and mens do not,
There should be workshops for people, where regardless of their gender identity (kettle of rainbow fish), one can learn how to incorporate more; “assert something is annoyingly dumb and wasting valuable time” or “I am going to cut your ramble off because it”s irrelevant and masturbatory”, or “I am going to rephrase everything you just said and say something else because you don’t know what you are talking about” modalities, into their communication with finesse, (This would be especially good for engineers reporting to business colleagues).
Personally, as a very much, most of the time, lady identifying person, I will be attending the communication workshops on “how to not post your thoughts on your face”, or “how to re-write that email for the tenth time without being snarky” or, “how to bring ladies who feel marginalized into a time sensitive engineering meeting without getting irritated they are calling some of by best talents a penis.”
“my best talents….”