Inspiration Series – Dan Kaminsky

I said I’d write a few of these posts and, having referenced Dan in my last post, I realised he should be next. This is a hard one to write, as I still haven’t quite processed his death, and I wish like hell he were still around to hear this. I don’t think I could accomplish as much or make a difference in as many lives as he did in his short life even if I live to 100, but losing him has reminded me of a lesson I learned some time ago, that we will always live on as long as we’re remembered by those whose lives we touch. I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and I feel like after his induction into the Internet Hall of Fame yesterday, it’s way past time to hit “publish”.

I suspect anyone who has had any interaction with Dan, no matter how brief, has stories like mine. In a community that has turned gatekeeping into a fine art, he was one of the few people who was inherently trusting and welcoming. No question was too dumb and he always somehow made you feel like you had something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation. I managed to establish myself within the security community rather early on and I had been staffing various cons when I got to know him, but I was still working in a different field professionally and considered myself an outsider. When I moved to Seattle in late 2005, I turned my hobby into a profession, and Dan was one of the folks who made sure I got off to a good start. I felt so out of place and constantly second guessed what I felt was rudimentary knowledge, but Dan always engaged me in stimulating conversations and even sought out my opinions specifically in discussions. He recognised my strengths before I did and showed me that as little as I felt I knew about the topic, I had actually keyed in on something unique that others hadn’t. He even led me straight down the path of my first vulnerability discovery. Sometimes I question how much of that was actually my own, but he wouldn’t have dreamed of taking credit for anything more than prompting me to follow the trail I’d found.

When I first started out in consulting, it was brutal. I only shadowed a couple engagements before I was sent out to fend for myself, and I didn’t feel like I actually knew what I was doing. I ended up calling him in tears, completely overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and having no idea how to advocate for myself. He gave me the best piece of advice I have ever received in my career: “We’re ALL faking it. The trick is figuring it out before your customer does.” More than 15 years later, I can’t say I’m faking it any less. The more I learn, the more I realise I don’t know. Thanks to Dan, though, I can acknowledge that I still may have something of value to offer in spite of – nay, BECAUSE of my lack of expertise. I have a different perspective than the person who built something, so just because I didn’t invent a protocol doesn’t mean I’m not capable of seeing a flaw in it. Dan truly believed that there was no such thing as a dumb question, and that anyone with enough curiosity to be asking about something had the potential to make it better.

Thank you, Dan, for believing in me, and for making me believe in myself.